


Wait. Don't leave.

by natodile



Category: Homestuck, MSPA Forums
Genre: Angst, Depressing John, I suck at Dave, Implied Character Death, M/M, Please don't hurt me for trying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-22
Updated: 2013-01-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 12:59:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/650776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natodile/pseuds/natodile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John is a depressed little prick and Dave is a child hood friend he has long since forgotten. Dave has been following John after his father told him to keep an eye on him. Just to keep it as cliche as possible, Dave is hopelessly in love with him but knows not to ruin their friendship. NO ONE COULD ANTICIPATE THIS ONE. >;3c</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is terrible writing and the updates will probably be even worse! ;w;" If you feel the need to nudge me hit me up on Tumblr~~ It's so short too, and where are the paragraphs?!?! I'm hopeless. Shoot me now.

You sit in the cushioned black office chair, your hands flying over the keys as jumbled thoughts litter your brain. Five minutes prior you had been simply thinking about nothing and chatting with your online friends. Now, you are overwhelmed with a want, no need to write. The story currently filtering onto the white word document features a young girl and the death of her grandfather. The girl had lived with her grandfather for her entire life after her parents abandoned her. Of course, they were not biologically related but they loved each other as family all the same. Now, the girl could feel the disapproving gaze of her birth mother as she judges the girl leaning over the casket raining tears onto the old mans withered and lifeless body. Your fingers stutter over the black chunks of plastic and you can feel the soft awareness of your own disgusting depression pressing on the back of your skull. It hurts. It hurts how much you would welcome death at that moment. That very moment when less than an hour earlier you had been forced to live through another dream of your mother’s death, forced to re-watch her writhing in pain as blood flowed around her paling body and you simply stopped and stared, frozen and useless. You feel as though you’re being buried alive by the longing to be back in the warm arms of your mother. You’re choking on the earth, scratching and struggling to the surface. The girl and her story are long since forgotten as your vision starts to blur with hazy lines of salty liquid, you slam the computer closed and paw at your face, wiping the damned tears from your cheeks and inhaling a shuddering breath. You wish desperately to be smacked and screamed at for being so weak. Why is it always like this? You start writing and BAM! Emotions here to cramp your style, you’re welcome dude. Just doin’ our job, helpin’ you work out them tear ducts and let loose a lil’ feelins’ jam. You know how it goes. You quickly stand up and sprint out the door and down the stairs, out of the building and scrambling down the rocks to a long flat plain of dead grass and weeds. You hurriedly stumble over several fences and rusty barbed wire until you’ve reached your destination, the thick forest on the outskirts of the property. Your breathing is heavy and your throat is slightly hoarse as you trip over vines and roots, searching for your secret place, the only place you feel safe, and your sanctuary. Finally you can hear the faint rush of water as you come across the natural spring. Long ago you had brought a small piano and stone bench out here, setting them up near the crystal flow of clean water. You sit at the small bench and lift the lid, resting your fingers on the smooth ivory keys and letting out a soft sigh as you press a key and let the crisp sound wash over you like a soothing wave of relaxation. You trace the familiar scrapes and dents with the pads of your thumbs and begin to create a gentle but depressing melody. The tempo speeds and slows, blending perfectly with the melodic flow of the spring. You slip off your shoes and let your toes drift lazily over to the cool liquid, feeling almost tranquil now that your emotions have calmed for the most part. As your finger tips dance across the baby grand you can feel all of your stress and masochistic thoughts slip into the wind along with the pure notes. Your mind is just beginning to slip into sane and semi-content thoughts when you hear a twig snap, your fingers tripping over the keys.  
“Hello? Who’s there?” your voice rings out through the forest as a blonde boy sheepishly steps out of the trees, his hand is at the back of his head and dark sunglasses are perched on the bridge of his nose.  
“Sorry man, just listenin’ to you jam, you’re pretty good at playing that thing.” His slightly tan and freckled face is completely expressionless and you can’t help but wonder how long he’s been there and how he found your sanctuary in the first place.  
You squint at him and wrinkle your nose with distrust, “Who are you?”  
He rewards you with a subtle nod and bored answer, “Name’s Dave Strider. Pleasure to meet you and all that shit. Who’re you?”  
Your ocean blue eyes narrow with uncertainty as you answer hesitantly, “John. John Egbert. Why are you here? How’d you find me? How long were you over there?”  
“Whoa, bro, cool it with the questions. This ain’t trivial pursuit. Mind if I take a leak before continuing with your oral exam?”  
“Uh, sure, I guess..?” You blink as he saunters over to the edge of the water, turned away from you. Suddenly, realization hits and you leap up, tackling him just as he unzips his tight black jeans. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” He falls down and the air rushes from your lungs as you land on top of him with a thud.  
“Hey! I asked first! What the fuck is your deal?!”  
You’re panting with your palms on his shoulders and legs straddling his hips, “What’s wrong with me?? You just tried to defile this spring with your disgusting bodily fluids!”  
He places his hands on your waist and picks you up easily, setting you down next to him and fixing his hair. You knew you were skinny, but not that skinny. Now he was sitting up and you could see his pale eyebrows angled downward in what you guessed was a glare above his sunglasses. Why was he wearing those anyway? This spring is pretty nicely shaded, maybe a stream of light here and there but not blazing sunlight where sunglasses are meant to be worn.  
He sighs and his eyebrows lower back below the tinted plastic. “Listen dude, I asked first. You didn’t have to fucking tackle me, it’s just a little lake thing. Calm your tits.”  
“I will not ‘calm my tits’! This is my sanctuary and I refuse to let you barge in here and try to take a piss in my spring!”  
“Someone needs to cool down,” His lips curved up on one side and he grabbed your wrist, forcefully yanking you forward so that you toppled into the freezing November water.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is contradictory as fuck and even worse writing than the last. At least it's significantly longer. If you know what I mean ;3c  
> Constructive criticism is appreciated.

You burst through to the surface with messy black hair sticking to your face, glasses tilted on your nose covered with water droplets, and coughing up water, “You.” Big breath, “Fucking.” Big breath, “Asshole.”  
Now, this person you had barely even met was on the bank holding his side and laughing his ass off, “Dude! You look like an upset kitten! Here pussy, pussy, pussy~”  
You sink into the water and suck in a mouthful of water before coming back up and spitting it at his face. You didn’t even care that it was rude. This guy deserved it, this supposed stranger deserved to…..before he can react to your spit take you grab his ankle and pull him into the water.  
“Dud-wha-gurgle!” He flails and the splashes he makes hit your face as you take a turn at laughing. When he breaks through the top of the water his sunglasses are nearly falling off and just before you can get a glimpse of his eyes he pushes them back up with a pissed expression. “Not cool, man. Not. Cool.” Now you’re giggling and snorting and hunched over in the water as if it’s the funniest thing in the world, as if you’ve known this guy your entire life, as if he were your best friend in the whole wide Earth.  
Now he’s staring at you incredulously, or you guess he is (those damned sunglasses), you barely see his smirk through your fogged glasses before he starts to chuckle at your dramatic laughter. You hold on to his shoulder for support as your voice fills the small alcove with joyful sounds. You can barely hear him whisper below his breath “Hah, you’re the same as I remember, Egderp.” He grabs your shoulders and dunks you into the cold water once again. You emerge sputtering and start to splash him as he retreats to dry land. You follow and the air hits your wet clothing in an icy blow forcing you to instinctively hold yourself as he helps you up. “Cold?”  
“Y-Yeah, it’s only Nov-v-vember i-in W-Washingt-ton…” Though his voice is steady he’s still shivering, he wraps an arm around your shoulder and visibly relaxes as you tense. “W-What are you d-doing?!”  
“Bro cuddles dude. It’s fucking cold.” His voice nearly cracks but he stops it as you hesitantly accept his warmth.  
“L-Let’s go b-back to the hous-se..” He nods and his mouth is in a grim line as he tries not to shake. You sink into him slightly and follow the familiar trail to your empty home. 

--------------------------------------------------------------  
As soon as you get up to your bedroom Dave begins to strip and crawls into your covers. “D-Dude, what are you d-doing?”  
“Getting cozy. What does it look like.” You roll your eyes and fish around in your dresser for some dry clothing before looking over to him and pondering if your clothes would fit or if you’d have to go find some of the ones your dad had given you for “when you grow up and become a man”. You knew they’d always be too big. Your legs were too short, shoulders too narrow, hell; your entire body was too small to fit in those giant clothes. Maybe they’d fit Dave though. Once you find your own clothes you change quickly and scoot the cardboard box out from under your bed, opening it and pulling out a white undershirt, jeans, and a leather jacket that kind of reminds you of Wolverine. You peek up at Dave, curled up in your comforter and still shivering a bit.  
“I’ve got some clothes, do you want to see if they’d fit?”  
He snorts, “Egbert, you’re so tiny, no one could fit into your clothes except for maybe an eight year old girl.”  
You glare, wondering in the back of your mind why he acted so familiar to you even though you’d just met, “I’m not tiny! I’m average; you’re just…just the Hulk or something!”  
He scoffs and rolls his eyes, “Sure! And you’re little Tweety Bird!”  
You shove the clothes at him, muttering something about them being your dad’s before turning and sulking with your back to him. He looks at them for a moment and reaches over to poke the back of your head. “Do I honestly look like this much of a badass wannabe to you? Really? I’m naturally a badass, I don’t need this shit.”  
You attempt to pick up the box but it’s too heavy and it falls on your toes with a loud thunk causing you to cry out in pain. “Shit! Ow!” You hop around on one foot comically as you cradle the other with both hands. He shakes his head and lifts the box with ease, pulling it up on the bed and rifling through it.  
Soon, clad in a red tee shirt and jeans, he grabs your waist and pulls you onto the bed. You struggle and push at him but his arms are firm and you can tell he’s already half asleep when your will to fight has died down. You sigh and decide to fall asleep also, pulling your askew comforter up around both of your necks.  
As you sleep with his heavy arms around you, you begin to dream. These dreams are different from usual. Happy, reminiscent almost though you know they had actually happened. You see yourself as a spectator; you’re wearing blue pajamas with an overdramatically long and wispy hood attached to them. You’re a quite bit younger too, maybe thirteen or fourteen, you’re floating around with three other kids your age, laughing and giggling and smiling like it’s your birthday. One of the kids looks like a younger Dave, he wears the same sunglasses and dark red pajamas with a long jaggedly edged cape attached. The other two are girls, one with the same shade of hair as Dave and pretty violet eyes, adorned in orange pajamas with a creatively shaped sun on the front. The other girl wears a black and grey dress with striped tights and a hood. She has white dog ears on her head that make her seem a bit strange along with her large circular glasses obscuring her vibrant green eyes. She reminds you of your cousin Jade, minus the dog ears.  
You move closer to hear their conversation and from what you can tell, it is your birthday. Jade-lookalike says, “So John! How’s it feel to finally be off of that ship?”  
Pajama you laughs and smiles, relaxing and circling the others heads on what seems to be wind. “You tell me! How does it feel to finally not have to move that space?” You are so confused.  
The blonde girl smiles and lays a tender hand on Jade-lookalike’s shoulder, “Yes, Jade, please enlighten me on how you are able to manipulate space, if not only to enrich my writing but also to satisfy my hunger for knowledge.” Man, that girl sure is wordy.  
Jade-lookalike, who turns out to actually be named Jade, giggles, “Oh Rose! I’m not sure how to reply to that! It’s a very complicated and long story! Heehee!”  
“I have plenty of time, do not spare a detail.” Rose takes Jade’s arm and tugs her off in another direction.  
Pajama you begins to only circle the other boy, “So Dave, what’s it like being with all the trolls? I bet it’s loads of fun! Especially messing with Karkat hehe.” Trolls? Karkat? What the hell?  
Dave groans and tilts his head back to watch you circling his head, “Karkat is a total tool. Trying to make a schedule of times I can chill with Terezi and shit. It’s fucking annoying, plus our conversations are awkward as fuck. Not ironic at all.” You’re kid self is laughing at him and you get the feeling the two of them are best friends. You can’t help but be jealous of the boy in the blue pajamas, he has friends, he can fly, probably has a mother somewhere too. All of a sudden little Dave is turned so that he is looking your way and talking, quietly at first but getting gradually louder, “Egbert. Hey, Egbert. Wake up. I’m hungry. Hey. John. Dude. John! John! John you piece of shit! JOHN!”  
You gasp and suddenly there are hands on your shoulders and a face inches from your own. “Jeez, you sleep like a fucking brick dude. Make me some food.”  
You blink as he sits back, slowly coming to your senses. “What? Wait. What?! Make you food? Why are you still here??”  
“Because you invited me dumbass.”  
“I invited for you to get warmed up! Not cuddle with me in my bed! Or eat my food for that matter! I don’t even know you!” He shakes his head.  
“Are you serious? Did you honestly try to forget everything? He dies so you murder the memories of your past life? Really John? I get that you’re upset but you have to remember. You can’t just forget your best friend! Do you know how it feels to lose someone so important to you?” You stare at him with a dumb look on your face. “Of course you fucking do! You can’t just disconnect! It isn’t fair you douchefuck!” He’s grabbing your shoulders and shaking you roughly, his voice is cracking and his face is red as he yells at you. Yes. This is what you’ve been craving. To be punished, screamed at, smacked anything. You want to be hurt. The tears pouring from beneath his sunglasses shock you out of your masochistic thoughts and you panic, unsure of what to do. “You just….you just can’t do that. John…please…you can’t leave me. Please...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm going to attempt to update this and probably start some other fics on Saturdays. If they come a bit late I'll get them out as soon as possible but all of this translating to English is killing my brain! >~


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